Well, I've been back for almost a month. We returned from our exciting, but exhausting, European tour only to do MORE traveling: we stayed in Macon for a few days, then went down to Florida to see my family for a week, then spent another week in Macon, and we're now in Oklahoma visiting Will's mom. There is much rest in between the busy days, but I'm ready to be done traveling. For anyone who doesn't know, our plan is to find jobs in Macon for the next six to seven months, then move up to Boston. Will just finished putting in his Teach For America application for this Fall; yay! Fingers, toes, and eyeballs crossed.
A lot of you have asked me how it feels to be back. I'm afraid that in a passing conversation, I don't always have time to answer that question fully. So I say that it's good, it's great, I miss some things about Korea, but I missed America too, it was great to see my family, etc. etc. etc. Such exciting and unexpected responses. So now, I'm going to tell you how it really is to be back, because I know that if I bore you, it's your own fault for continuing to read when, at anytime, you can say "I'm done with this crap" and go make some popcorn and watch a movie. So if you make it to the end, I'll be impressed.
Here's a List of Coming-Home-Reactions / Things That Are Weird:
1. My siblings are old. Just so old. I can't believe I missed a whole year of their lives. In that year, Megan went to England and the Netherlands, Nick became a senior in college and made some really fantastically beautiful art, Brendan's voice dropped an octave and he joined the Orlando Deanery Boychoir as a BASS, Caitlyn grew so much taller and so much more thoughtful, and I didn't get to see it. I got it all secondhand, or after-the-fact. I haven't quite decided whether I want to live in the U.S. for the rest of my life, but I do refuse to miss another year of my sibling's lives while they are still growing up.
2. Burger King got high-tech. What's with the big screen that flashes back and forth between the menu and the specials? How am I supposed to order if I can't see the menu the whole time? When did they change the name of my favorite sandwich? What's with this fancy new drink machine with 40,000 options, including Orange Root Beer Vanilla Coke? (My brother made that last drink. It was disgusting.) Apparently other restaurants have gone the same way. Will and I made fools of ourselves trying to figure everything out when we went a couple of weeks ago. WHY IS EVERYTHING SO COMPLICATED.
3. I judge you, silly American. Do you remember when I wrote one of my very first posts, and I said that I wanted to learn not to judge people based on standards that my environment has taught me to believe in? Well, I don't think I said it quite that way, but basically, not to judge people based on the only culture I know? Well, that has become a problem again. I now judge people based on the Korean culture I've been immersed in for over a year. Why don't people speak more respectfully? Why don't people bow to their elders? How can you possibly justify ever being rude to a customer? Why don't you give regular customers free stuff? Why can't every child play the violin and the piano to near-perfection? I think part of the problem is that, in Korea, I constantly judged foreigners on how they interacted with Korean culture. Did they observe Korean culture, did they think it was stupid, were they respectful to Koreans, etc. Sometimes I am judgmental in ways that surprise me. Something to work on.
4. I miss Nancy and Jenny and Alex and, sniff, sniff, no... NO... QUICK, WATCH A MOVIE! I miss my students, but I'm trying not to think about them too much. In about a month or so I'm probably going to go through old pictures and just start sobbing and curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep. For now, I'm keeping the pictures out of sight. Putting off the inevitable moment of extreme sadness. There are too many things to be happy about right now, and I don't want to spoil it all.
5. "I'll take that with soy milk, extra vanilla, no whipped cream, chocolate chips mixed in, in a larger cup, with two rainbow straws, JUST BECAUSE I CAN." For all the things I loved about Korea, not knowing the language was often extremely frustrating. Now that I'm home, I experience this moment of intense delight when I go into a store or a restaurant and people speak English to me. I can communicate?? I can communicate!!! "Hi, how are you? I'm great! Isn't the weather nice today? Where are you from? I spent the last year in Korea! Well, it was really great to meet you. Thanks for the fries. Bye!" Little happy dance out the door. I must be VERY annoying.
So. Things have changed. But more importantly, how I see things has changed. I see more things to be grateful for, more things that need to be changed, more ways to change them. I've also been told that I am more outgoing. Korea has changed me, and now I think that returning home is changing me. Korea opened my eyes, and now I hope to keep them wide open, no matter where I am. It was good to go on an adventure. Now it's good to be home, on an adventure.
